Why the Cupid Shuffle is ruining the world.

I said it. That one "universal-get-to-the-dancefloor" song is ruining the world.

Now, I love dancing. I really do. Even some forms of line dancing are extremely fun. However, the Cupid Shuffle encompasses no such aspect of fun. Only hate.

Let me explain:

The Cupid Shuffle was recorded by Cupid in 2006, originally produced for a dance orientated video game, and peaked at #66 on the Billboard Hot 100.  What was at first a fun song to dane to, my opinion of this insanely popular track drastically changed over the past few years. (Primarily due to the entrance of better music in my ears.)

At every social gathering put on, no matter what the occasion, if there is a dance floor and music playing you can almost 100% guarantee that this song will be played. I've even been in situations where it was played twice in the same evening. Horrifying.
What's worse is that these "dance events" happen very often.
It is very easy to think, "Okay. We have this group of people and we don't know how to entertain them. I know, let's hold a dance party."

*Before I jump the gun, let me state that I have no hate against amateur dance parties. It is just a simple fact that these events consist of a few lights rented from Guitar Center and an iPod plugged into the master system. Boom. Instant dance party.*

The sheer amount of amateur dance parties I have (sometimes unwillingly) attended, allowed me experience the Cupid Shuffle in many different scenarios and situations.
Thus, I was able to fully understand that this song is not fun. The context and reasoning behind this song being played at a party is the reason the song is acquired this terrible taste. What was once a fun line-dancing song has now evolved into this engrossing monster that destroys amateur dance parties with its redundancy and unoriginality.

The reason I find it so despising is because the playing the Cupid Shuffle is the equivalent to a lazy back-handed remark to the audience that says, "Hey you. Dance to this. Because I have no desire to actually try to be musically creative and experiment with other songs that the crowd may enjoy, so I am just going to resort to the easy way out."
Makes me sick.

The following shows some instances in which the Cupid Shuffle will be played at an event. If one or more of the following occur, you can bet the song will drop. Leave immediately.

Alternatively, if none of these are occurring, it is very unlikely that the song will be played.

• A terrible Host/Hostess/DJ that does not fulfill their duty to keep the crowd entertained at all times because they are either; 
• A: Playing music from an iPod with no sense of musicality or crowd energy differences. 
• B: Not mixing the songs so there are awkward silent gaps in-between tracks. 
• or C: Playing for children, teens, or adults who are at a non-genre-specific event. (i.e. Prom, Homecoming, wedding, etc.)
• The event is Prom, Homecoming, a Wedding, an amateur dance party, etc.
• The DJ has been requested to play the song and is somehow willing enough to play it either as a joke or for fun. (Which is impossible because that song can't be enjoyed anymore)
• Cupid is headlining. 

You have been warned. 

It is time to rise up against this atrocity to music. 

STOP PLAYING CUPID SHUFFLE.

-Phillip